I live close to Greektown and ticket cops are more plentiful than souvlaki here and believe me, what they do is a lot harder and more expensive to swallow.
Here is a conversation I had with a ticket cop on the Danforth just last week.Cook: So officer, why am I getting a ticket?TC: Because you're less than nine meters from the corner.Cook: But my car was idling and I was just gone for a minute.TC: I could charge you for letting your car idle for more than three minutes. Remember the bylaw about letting your car idle?Cook: That's two tickets?TC: Three actually, you're not wearing a hat. It's hot out.Cook: What?TC: But those sunglasses are cool so no ticket. I have to give you a ticket for those shorts though. They gotta go.Cook: Are you serious?TC: Yes sir. We're out here all day looking at what people wear and it's disturbing. Look at that guy over there with the mullet. Ticket for sure.Cook: So you're fashion police as well?TC: Absolutely. We've gone way beyond just ticketing cars. I mean fashion brings in way more money and let's be real, some of the stuff people wear is a crime. See that guy there? Red shorts, green top, yellow sneakers. I'd arrest him first and then give him a ticket.Cook: Can you arrest people?TC: Oh no, but it is something we'd like the city to consider in our next contract.Cook: I've never heard any of this before.TC: We keep it on the down low.Cook: Are you sure you're not kidding me?TC: Actually, I am kidding but your car has now been idling for more than three minutes so I can give you a ticket.Cook: Isn't that entrapment?TC: What are you a lawyer? (Pause) Just kidding.Cook: So how many tickets do I get?TC: Well you did park too close to the corner and you did leave your car idling for longer than three minutes. But I'm a good guy so I'm only going to give you two tickets.Cook: But I thought you were going to be a good guy?TC: It could have been three. Do you have a license for that bike?Cook: I don't need a license for a bike, do I?TC: Just kidding. But I think it's got the potential to be a whole new revenue stream. Don't you?