I must have gone to the only high school in downtown Toronto that wasn't within walking distance of a McDonalds. And this was in the '80s, when Grimace ruled the fast food scene with his big purple fist.
My theory is that the brass at Mickey D's didn't want to compete with King Falafel. Because once a young man got a taste of their spicy Mediterranean sandwich, Big Macs became a thing of the past.
For the gastronomically bereft, a falafel is a fritter made from soaked and mashed chickpeas and/or fava beans, flavoured with onion, garlic, herbs and spices. Falafel was invented in Egypt, where it's a national dish, but it's popular all over the eastern end of the Mediterranean, especially in Israel and Lebanon.
Falafel is served hot or at room temperature, either as part of an appetizer spread or more commonly stuffed into a pita with an assortment of Middle Eastern sauces and accoutrements.
In my patch of the west end, there seems to be a falafel joint on every block. Here is a report from a recent falafel fest:
The Empire (1018 Bloor St. W., 416-532-5511) is one of only two Sudanese restaurants in Toronto. Al Jazeera, the CNN of the Arab world, blares on the big screen TV, and just about every customer walks in like Norm from Cheers, sitting down to their favourite dish without having to place an order.
Empire's falafel is for those who like their food all dressed. Rolled into a white pita, the falafel balls are nothing special, but it's loaded with lettuce, tomato, hummus, tabbouleh, red cabbage, tahini sauce, crunchy pickled turnips and sour dills. It's delicious, but the one-two punch of so many cruciferous and leguminous vegetables can produce enough wind to sail the Bluenose to Cape Town and back. You might want to bring along some Beano.
If you're a purist, your best bet is Laila (553 Bloor St. W., 416-588-0199, www.hyperadvantage.com/laila), a Lebanese restaurant in the Annex. The falafel balls are exceptional: hot, crunchy, aggressively seasoned and perfectly spiced. It's stuffed into a plain pita with just iceberg lettuce, tomato, tahini and parsley. The minimal toppings allow the fritters to do a belly dance on your taste buds.
My favourite all around falafel is at College Falafel (450 Ossington St., 416-538-9747, www.collegefalafel.com). This tiny hole-in-the-wall is mostly a take-out joint, though there are about five seats with an additional six in summer on the makeshift sidewalk patio.
The Albanian owners use a whole-wheat pita and wrap it around crispy falafel balls with shredded romaine lettuce, tomato, tart tabbouleh and marinated red cabbage. But their secret is the garlic sauce, a tangy, yogurt-based elixir that takes this sandwich to the next level.
I know I've left out some key players, but I'll save them for another column. Once I get the fried smell out of my jacket, I'll be ready for another falafel fiesta.
Sorry, Ronald.