A thing I have learned during my passage through life is that one never need dwell on personal shortcomings! This is due to the fact someone or a group is just waiting in the wings to keep you up-to-date on your personal milestones, physical flaws.
You doubt this? Try gaining weight as an adult, or, as a man, suffer male pattern baldness. Friends, family, even strangers find a way to inform you of what you already know. They do this repeatedly.The same goes with hearing. It is common, as one ages, to lose a degree of comprehension. You are not being rude, you simply do not hear someone whispering reminders, instructions or observations on your driving. Especially if that kind soul happens to be your spouse.In my case my auditory skills began to diminish about three years after we married. After a year or two of complaints and suggestions I was ignoring her, a visit to the doctor was arranged.My hearing proved to be quite adequate although the doctor suggested I had developed discretionary hearing. In short, I heard only what was of interest. I did not care if the garbage wanted to go out, a wall needed painting, or a tap was dripping. There was not test to determine if I was lazy or not.Not to be deterred, my wife has regularly mentioned my lapse in cognizance. At first there was a touch of mirth in her comments as to my hearing. Then she bought a speaking trumpet. You know, one of those horns used by sports coaches, etcetera to magnify their voice.Her's was not a fancy one. Nope, it was a long, plastic tube that increased in size like a trumpet. It certainly provided her with volume. Especially when she was two feet away and waking me from sleep with a hearty "good morning."Then, to my relief, one of our daughters suggested ear candles. I had never heard of these wax things one sticks in each ear and lights. I, at first, refused. They insisted and two more trumpets were ordered. I capitulated immediately.For months I dodged the trial session. Then, on a quiet Sunday they pounced and introduced the ear candles. There were two and each cost $5. My hearing improved immensely the moment they stated the cost.In a flash they had the wrappers off and a candle stuffed in each of my ears. That was bad enough. But then they lit them! Could a person look any sillier than I did? I was a human candlestick. Is it normal for an adult to have burning candles in each ear? Further, one of the candles insisted on flaring, burning a touch faster than the other.I will not bore; perhaps disgust you with what resulted from this experiment in home cures. Suffice to say my ears produced copious wax and, to my immense surprise, my hearing did improve.My wife was delighted, as were our children. My evaluation was not so grand. I could hear when instructed to take the garbage out or that we should redecorate the family room.Thankfully the improvement in hearing faded quickly. So, now they want to buy the candles in volume. I wonder if a bulk order of that size comes with a volume discount? I will keep an ear out for a deal.