I was reading a pamphlet issued by the Toronto Catholic School Board the other day on bullying (www.tcdsb.org/parents/bullyproofing_handbook.htm) and was surprised by a list of successful celebrities who had been bullied when they were young.
The list included the likes of Harrison Ford, Daryl Hannah, Michelle Pfeiffer and Tom Cruise. I was surprised because, when I was younger and throughout my earlier career, I was often advised it was never in anyone's best interests to admit to having been bullied. Indeed, the stigma of having been bullied is not unlike the stigma associated with mental illness; and yet its consequences are just as, if not more, serious: witness the tragic suicides of 15-year-old Jamie Hubley of Ottawa and 11-year-old Mitchell Wilson of Pickering last fall.Politicians have been quick to respond. In December 2011, the Liberal government and the PC Opposition Party each introduced anti-bullying bills into the Ontario Legislative Assembly. The government bill, if passed, would make severe or repeated bullying punishable by expulsion. Both bills set out requirements for school board to respond to bullying incidents.Dr. Marshall Korenblum, psychiatrist-in-chief at The Hincks-Dellcrest Centre, advises parents of victims need to be strong advocates at school and ensure their child's school has a clearly articulated anti-bullying policy and procedure and promotes a culture of diversity and inclusion. Children need to know to tell an adult if they are being bullied, but also need to develop skills to know when and how to ignore or walk away from a bully. Silence allows the bully to win. Parents of bullies should know children can become bullies for a host of reasons. Some may be dealing with a difficult family situation such as divorce or death, while others may have been bullied themselves and are repeating a cycle. Korenblum recommends if your child is a bully, ask if he or she has been bullied. Also, be a good role model for your children: if you are a bully or tolerate bullying, your children will think it's OK.Korenblum maintains, however, one of the most important things all parents, educators and kids can do is fight "bystanderism." "Bullying continues largely because everyone else allows it to. We need to combat the pejorative stigma associated with 'snitch' or 'rat,' and reframe it as looking out for your brother/sister/friend....Wouldn't you rather know that your friends will help you rather than stand by and watch?" he said.In addition to working with school staff and professionals, there are various online and telephone resources available to guide children, teens and parents including: the Kids Help Phone (www.kidshelpphone.ca/1-800-668-6868), Kids Help Line (www.kidshelp.com.au/1-800-668-551-800), Toronto Catholic District School Board (www.tcdsb.org/parents/bullyproofing_handbook.htm) and Toronto District School Board Student Safety Line (www.tdsb.on.ca/safetyline/ 416-395-7233).
Donna Duncan is the president and CEO of The Hincks-Dellcrest Centre, a large children's mental health treatment, research and education centre serving the Greater Toronto Area, and a community affiliate of the University of Toronto's faculties of medicine and social work. Prior to joining Hincks-Dellcrest, Donna spent more than 20 years working with municipal, provincial, federal and international governments and within the broader public sector. Donna is also recognized for her extensive background in governance, parliamentary procedure and process. She has worked with the governing boards of provincially funded organizations and government agencies in developing and supporting governance and accountability frameworks. She currently sits as a member of the Seneca College Board of Directors. Visit www.hincksdellcrest.org