You can see John Cadiz's work, but you can't take it home.
The 58-year-old artist says he paints for the love of painting and nothing else.
"There are some things that we do that transcend money," said the Annex resident, sitting in his portable canvas chair at AWOL Gallery (78 Ossington Ave.), as he explains why he won't sell his work. "I think money would corrupt the process."
When he decided to start painting some 20 years ago, it was always with the idea that his works would be from the heart. He's given some away as gifts, but largely he has kept all his works. They just pile up in his Clinton Street home.
This only Cadiz's second show, featuring 20 of his pieces, and it runs until June 17.
A white man raised in Trinidad, Cadiz said he has always felt like an outsider. Even after he came to Canada, he didn't feel like he fit in, because of his Trini accent. He spent a lot of time alone with a paint brush and canvas.
"I've been painting in isolation for 20 years," he said, explaining why he struggles to describe his work.
Since he's remarried in 2001, he often still stays home with his two young children.
"I get stuck with the kids a lot," he said.
Although he's taken the odd night class at the Ontario College for Art and Design, Cadiz is a self-taught painter, using oil as his medium of choice.
The evolution of his skills is evident in seeing his most recent show at AWOL Gallery.
Ranging from his early years of painting in 1987 to current day, his paintings convey stories. Some of the characters in the paintings even have thought bubbles, reflecting Cadiz's infatuation with comic strips and cartoons.
Cadiz's attachment to his work may have something to do with the emotion he puts into them.
A lot of his work has darker themes; some of the pieces reflect on his brother's death. Often the viewer gets the impression that they are bearing witness to an event, from behind a glass wall.
His Catholic upbringing, Trinidad's Carnival and his own childhood experiences are often themes in Cadiz's somewhat macabre work.
The death of his brother Peter, who died from cancer at age 19, is a recurring motif.
Other paintings reflect specific incidences in his life. One piece entitled Stoned in Trinidad depicts a scene where Cadiz was targeted by some street thugs as he drove the streets of his homeland.
"They started to rain rocks on the car," he said. While he revisited the incident in his mind, Cadiz tried to empathize with his attackers. The piece alludes to his ancestors who were plantation owners, and their treatment of black slaves. "I tried to see why they did what they did," he said.
Cadiz feels that he got a somewhat late start in his career as an a painter - a theme in his life. He spent a number of years figuring out who he was before marrying his second wife and having a family.
"I found the woman of my dreams, and have two wonderful children," he said. "A bit late in life, but I'm happy. I'm as contented as I can be."
To find out more visit www.johncadiz.blogspot.com