Hey, how 'bout them Jays?

Humour

But Seriously...

Jamie Wayne

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Is it funnier than watching someone slip on a banana peel? You be the judge.

Hey, how 'bout them Jays?

April 7, 2008 03:45 PM

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There is a woman in our office named Linda who gets a tad grumpy whenever the topic gets around to sports. And given the predominantly male populace and our propensity to babble ad nauseam about the games people play, let's just say Linda is usually not in the cheeriest of moods.

My heart went out to her when she showed up grinning from ear to ear the day after the Maple Leafs were officially eliminated from qualifying for the playoffs. Poor dear didn't realize that the baseball season had just started and the Blue Jays had seamlessly replaced the Leafs in all discussions.

"Does this nonsense ever end?" she asked me.

"I'm afraid not," I replied. "This is pretty much the routine 365 days a year."

She just shook her head in disgust.

"C'mon, Linda. Don't fight it. It's not so horrible. Why not just join in?"

"Because I don't know the first thing about sports," she whined. "You have to be a PhD to follow this stuff."

"What are you talking about," I laughed. "A child of four can take part."

"But I don't watch any of the games," she moaned.

"I'll let you in on a little secret," I told her. "Most of us don't either."

"So how do you all know so much," she asked.

"Who says we know anything? Have you actually listened to any of our conversations. We may talk incessantly about sports, but nothing too technical ever comes out of our mouths. One person says, How 'bout this team or that player, and the others reply with some idiot slang expression."

"That's it?" she asked incredulously. "And this is what goes on all day?"

"Yup. What's more, I can get you up to speed in a few minutes."

"Get outta town," she replied.

"I mean it Linda. I told you, this ain't exactly rocket science. Take today's paper. Read the Jays article, pick out a few names, say 'How about that' a few dozen times and you're off to the races. You play me and I'll play one of the guys and I'll show you how it's done."

"You realize I am wearing a skirt and heels," she pointed out.

"My skirts are a little on the more conservative side, I admit, but give it a whirl."