The York Guardian

Not surprisingly, Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment, which always keeps things pretty close to the vest, isn't tipping its hand on this one either.

But there is a hot rumour floating around that they have already compiled a short-list for the position. And that is sweet music to these ears.

Being only five-feet two-inches, that would put me pretty near the top, if not at the top, of that list.

Yahoo. After all these years, the family genetics are finally paying off.

It's no secret that I've always dreamed of being Leaf GM, so if the scuttlebutt is indeed true and I am under consideration for the job, I most definitely would like to throw my hat into the ring.

Actually, I don't have a hat, per se. I have a visor, if that's OK.

Truth be told, I look idiotic in a hat.

Not that Mr. Blackwell would put me on his best-dressed list when he sees me in a visor, mind you. But in a hat I look goofier than George Costanza did in that Seinfeld episode in which he donned a fedora to hide his balding scalp.

In case you missed it, George was going for the look. Unfortunately, he ended up looking more like Indiana Horowitz in the Temple of Beth Shalom.

So my visor will have to do. (For the record it says Nike on the front and I pay Nike a bundle to let me wear it.)

But I digress.

Sadly, I won't be throwing it in anything for awhile. My doctor thinks I might have torn my rotator cuff helping push neighbours' cars up the street during the snowstorm of a few weeks back and he wants me to go for an MRI.

Trouble is, it's a well known fact that nobody can get in to have an MRI in this city until the end of baseball season. As usual, the Toronto Blue Jays pitching staff have all the machines booked solid from now until October. In fact, sources say A.J. Burnett has his own luxury box at Mount Sinai.

Not to be deterred from my mission, I went down to the Air Canada Centre yesterday to place my visor ever so gently into the ring.

Well, as it turns out, it was a complete waste of time. Maple Leafs Sports and Entertainment doesn't even have a ring set up, if you can believe it.

The next ring isn't going to be installed in the ACC until May 5 for an episode of Monday Night RAW, pro wrestling's pre-eminent weekly TV show.

I was aghast.

That's only one month before the NHL entry draft, for heaven's sake. That's way too late for the Leafs to hire a GM. They have to have their new man in place immediately, if not sooner. Time's a wasting.

And to think I went to all this trouble to investigate visor substitution, secure a corporate sponsor, have my shoulder checked out and come up with a throwing alternative and this is the thanks I get?

Forget it. Short list, shmort list. You can scratch my name off it.

I tell ya it's one thing after another with this organization.

No wonder the club hasn't won a Stanley Cup since 1967.