Humour

But Seriously...

Jamie Wayne
Email Author

Is it funnier than watching someone slip on a banana peel? You be the judge.

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An ode to two seasons, Christmas and Leaf

December 11, 2007 12:01 PM
 
 
I don't know about you folks but though we're still two weeks away from Christmas Day, I've already had it up to here with the carols.

It seems every store I go into has been piping them into their sound systems since the middle of November. I think Starbucks started in August. And I'm pretty sure they switched to their cheery, red festive cups back in June.

Anyhow, I'm no Scrooge and I certainly don't want to put a damper on the spirit of the season, so I offer you this original carol to help re-energize those who, like me, have already overdosed on the old standards. Feel free to sing along, if you wish. It's called Oh Tanenbaum, Oh Tanenbaum and it is sung to the tune of - wait for it - Oh, Tannenbaum, Oh Tanennbaum. Go figure, eh?

 

Oh, Tanenbaum, Oh Tanenbaum

Oh, Tanenbaum, Oh Tanenbaum

When will you buy the Maple Leafs?

A pension fund calling the shots

Is causing diehard fans just too much grief.

I know you've got just a minor share

And the teachers own the controlling piece.

But, Oh, Tanenbaum, Oh Tanenbaum.

When will you buy the Maple Leafs?

 

Oh, Tanenbaum, Oh Tanenbaum.

Alas, the future seems so bleak.

Without a bumper crop of kids coming up

How will you ever replace Sundin?

It seems all the focus is on ROI

And not on the ice, where it should be.

Oh, Tanenbaum oh Tanenbaum

When will you buy the Maple Leafs?

 

Oh, Tanenbaum, Oh Tanenbaum

Forty years without the Cup is an eternity.

And in the centre of the hockey universe

You must admit it's downright embarrassing.

How this has been allowed to go on for so long

Is one of life's greatest mysteries.

Oh, Tanenbaum oh Tanenbaum

When will you buy the Maple Leafs?

 

Oh, Tanenbaum, Oh Tanenbaum

The clock is ticking in a league with 30 teams.

Each passing day without a blueprint to follow

Makes it more and more difficult to succeed.

If you don't step in soon and change the tide

Your fans can kiss goodbye to ever kissing Lord Stanley.

Oh, Tanenbaum oh Tanenbaum.

When will you buy the Maple Leafs?

 

Oh, Tanenbaum, Oh Tanenbaum.

I hope you didn't mind this Christmas piece.

I know you celebrate Hanukkah

But it's the thought that counts, don't you agree?

The point is, you have the smarts and all the know-how

And by all accounts, the green.

Oh, Tanenbaum, Oh Tanenbaum.

It's time you bought the Maple Leafs.

One mo' time

Oh, Tanenbaum, Oh Tanenbaum

It's what all Leaf fans want under their trees.