The Beach-Riverdale Mirror

Right off the bat, regardless of the sum you want, it all comes clattering out in big piles which you quickly stuff into an inside pocket before the wife catches you.

And that is where the first problem kicks in because the person who runs the store knows you are walking out with a wad of cash so you think how can I possibly leave the place without spending some of the money that he so kindly gave me access to.

And that is where the second problem shows up. That ATM only dispenses $20 bills, no loonies, no toonies, no fins, no sawbucks, just double sawbucks and you can hardly use one of them to buy a 10-cent item if indeed such a thing exists.

So you buy a newspaper, even though you get daily home delivery but that somehow does not seem to be quite enough. Then you sweeten the pot by adding a bag of potato chips and a loaf of bread and before you know it you've run up a tab of $15.45. And to make matters worse, you will be late for the poker party at Eddie's house and when you arrive the beer will be warm and Big Frank will have eaten all the peanuts.

Better you should always leave home with a silver dollar in your shoe which is what my father did and his father before him.

But that $20 fiasco is only part of the super-sizing mania sweeping our nation.

Everything is huger than huge and it's not getting any smaller.

The entire country has a towering debt and a child's size milk shake comes in a container big enough to bathe a Great Dane. And of course all this has an impact on life in the Beach(es) where modestly-priced homes have become sand castles commanding sums large enough to make bail for Paris Hilton.

There was a time when a fellow could take a girl to the movies then afterwards treat her to a bowl of chili and toast washed down with a Coke and take home change from a $2 bill.

In those days, chances are he didn't get a good night kiss, when he took her home but he did establish a solid reputation as a big time spender. So don't try telling me that times are better nowadays.