Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match.
In order to find true love, it's important to actually make time to get to know someone.
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Valentine's Day is the one day each year when the world focuses on love. If you're single, it can be a sobering reminder you are alone and it would be nice to be in love.
The opportunity to meet someone is potentially anywhere, at work, the bar, through friends or online, but when these avenues are exhausted, or not for you, another option you could consider is going to a traditional matchmaker.
Ruth Claramunt has been helping people find love for the past 27 years. A traditional matchmaker, she operates Hearts Toronto, an introduction service to help people meet using good-old-fashioned socializing to match people who share the same goals and morals.
Claramunt said she's busier than ever, which may indicate people are moving back toward the more traditional ways of meeting a partner.
"I think in today's society it's very difficult to meet the right person and it's even worse because today people don't date in the workplace. They work longer hours. They work out of their home. They travel more and they don't socialize like we used to, to just meet people," she said.
Claramunt said lack of socializing equals people not meeting enough people or the right people, especially if they are only meeting people online. Not that that can't work, but she said there are many unsavoury characters online and a lot of lying going on in Internet dating.
"And the No. 1 thing they lie about is their marital status," she said. "And people can pretend to be anyone they want online."
While the scope of people you can meet online can be broader, Claramunt said you can't get a true impression of someone without meeting and spending some time with him.
"I've heard so many people say 'Oh I have this wonderful relationship with someone online that I had for six months' and then they meet them and there's nothing there because they have this fantasy of who they think they are," she said
Same goes for speed dating, which Claramunt said is like a meat market because if you don't like the looks of a person in five minutes, you go onto the next one.
"You may as well just put someone in a window and say 'Do you like this one or not'?" "You have to look at the whole big picture of someone. It's not just the physical thing and that's what I do. I look beyond that," she said.
Claramunt does this by meeting every person who comes to Hearts. She visits their homes and interviews them asking questions to get to know them and gathering information that equates to a personal resume.
"I want to know how long they've been alone? What they're looking for? Do they want to be in a committed relationship? I want to know what their interests are? I just want to get to know them," she said. "Getting to know who they are tells me more about them then they can ever say on a piece of paper," she said.
By the time clients go on their dates, all the preliminary stuff is out of the way. For example, if she has a female client who wants to get married and have children, she won't match her with someone who doesn't want to have children.
"They don't have to marry the first person I match them with, but it's nice to know the person they meet is looking for the same things that they have similar interests and goals and lifestyles," she said.
Claramunt's success in finding the right match for someone depends on people being open to a relationship. As well, they have to be honest about who they are and what they are looking for in a mate.
"When people come to me they're ready to meet someone...so it's just a matter of matching like-minded people who are looking for the same thing," she said.
While it all seems simple, Claramunt said she also uses her gut feelings and her experience when she's choosing matches for people.
"Having worked with people for years I know what combinations of people go well together and I know some people don't. They're like oil and water," she said.
Also a dating expert, once people start going on dates, Claramunt is there to help coach them on what to do, and not to do, on a date.
"People are really searching for somewhere to meet someone and this is not about meeting people it's about meeting the right kind of people and that's what we do," she said.
While you may not run out and hire a matchmaker, as a regular search will cost you $1,400 and a private executive search $10,000, you could use their traditional principles to find a true love of your own. Happy searching!