YOUR CHILD'S HEALTHY MIND: Getting help quickly key to helping children with mental illness

I recently spoke to a father whose child received treatment at a children's mental health centre in Toronto.

He said he had always thought kids who were "acting out" aggressively had "bad parents" who failed to discipline them. He continued to believe that until his 12-year-old son, "John," started to act out.

John started behaving aggressively at school and at home. His parents took him to his pediatrician. John was put on some medication, but it didn't help.

Soon John's behaviour got worse. He was raging, throwing things, kicking out at people and kicking in walls. John spent more time in the principal's office than in class and was suspended from school. His family and teachers were worried for his safety, but also for his siblings, his classmates and themselves.

John's parents struggled to get the right supports for their son. They weren't sure John was getting the help he actually needed and they didn't know what services were available. Finally, John's condition got worse and his parents took him to a hospital emergency department, only to have that hospital send him home.

They took him to a second hospital for help and John was admitted to a crisis unit for 19 days.

On discharge John was referred to the children's mental health system for ongoing treatment. Even then, his parents faced an uphill battle in accessing community services. They were told they could wait a year.

Luckily, the Hincks-Dellcrest Centre, a children's mental health treatment, research and education centre in Toronto, was able to help and John and his family didn't have to wait. Today John is doing much better.

John's father told me when John first started acting out, he thought he and his wife had become bad parents.

The reality is John's parents are remarkable.

They represent a new breed of parent that is taking on the stigma of children's mental illness.

Today, John's father and mother are open about the issues they've faced in understanding what was happening to their son, about the challenges in getting help, about the need to make it OK to talk about mental health issues and about what needs to be done to make services more accessible.

John is lucky to have such parents. And our children's mental health system is lucky to have such advocates.

The statistics for children's mental health issues are humbling: We know one in five children will have a mental health problem and that, for a variety of reasons, four out of five of those children will not get the care they need.

In some cases, parents don't recognize or accept there is a mental health issue, while in others families like John's may not know how to get help because there's no clearly defined system of supports.

Children's mental health issues are real and the best way to manage them is to get help as early and as quickly as possible.

In Ontario, children's mental health problems and the means of addressing them can be identified by various children's service providers including pediatricians, family physicians, school teachers, child care providers and employee assistance programs, as well as through mandated children's mental health agencies and hospitals.

In addition, online sites such as Children's Mental Health Ontario (www.kidsmentalhealth.ca), Parents for Children's Mental Health (www.pcmh.ca) or www.eMentalHealth.ca can be useful in directing parents to available resources.

The majority of adults with mental illness first had problems before they were 17 years old. If we can understand when our kids are not just acting out and can get them help, imagine the futures we can change.