Counsellor seeks house for young men.
Dr Patricia Keith who runs Break Free Family Centre and Counselling. October 15,2010
Staff photo/IAN KELSO
"I hear 'what hurts? What makes you tick...They'll tell their story. I tell them they don't have to be (in jail) again.'" - Patricia Keith
Patricia Keith is seeking a house to create a transition home for young men leaving prison.
The House that Mothers Built, Keith calls it.
"These men have nowhere to go, no one to help them. They get out (of jail). They end up in a halfway house. Within two weeks, they're back in jail again," said Keith, who counsels mostly young men aged 12 to 21, some as part of their bail conditions. Most have drug or other addiction issues. Some are violent offenders.
"They need someone to tell them, 'Listen, you don't have to do that again. There's hope for you. There's bounce back from your setback.' This is what I do."
The house where 10 to 12 youth would spend up to three months is the dream of Break Free Family Centre and Counselling, which Keith has run for the past nine years. If a donor can provide the house, Keith will provide the carpenters. Keith estimates startup costs at $550,000. The centre isn't particular about the location of the home - in Toronto or even the GTA.
Break Free hosts a fundraising dinner for the transition house Saturday, Nov. 20.
Keith counsels young men weekly in Toronto's west and east detention centres and in Arrell Youth Centre in Hamilton "speaking hope into young men's lives." Most are anxious for help, she said.
"I hear 'what hurts? What makes you tick? Why are you here? Why did you come back the second time, the third time or the fourth time? Why do you have so many charges?' They'll tell their story. I tell them they don't have to be there again."
Keith is a licensed clinical therapist who specializes in addiction and stress and anger management as well as an ordained minister, a chaplain and a former nurse with a PhD in psychology.
With warmth and caring, she earns the young men's trust. Most lack rapport and communication with their parents, she said.
"Our youth are lost. They don't have proper mentoring, proper parenting. Their friends tell them, 'this is the way to go.' They get themselves in such a mess."
At least 60 per cent of clients rehabilitate, she estimates. But a criminal record makes securing a job elusive for many.
A large mirror leans on the wall behind Keith's desk at her Albion Road office. She asks clients to talk about themselves to the mirror. She uses 'emotional freedom' techniques to help them repair their damaged self-esteem.
"'What is your dream?' I ask. 'When you leave here today, I want you to know that you're special, you're beautiful. You have a potential. Even though things have gone wrong in your life, I want you to know you can bounce back. You were in a pit. You are here today for me to throw you a rope.' It's like I've given them a million dollars."
Deep listening is what clients need most, Keith said. All many know is anger.
"I had a young man once who was macho and bad. He sat there and swore and cussed," she recalled. "He swore for half an hour... Then he hung his head down. He was crying. 'What are you crying for?' I asked. 'Because you listened,' he said. 'Nobody ever listened to you?' 'Not that way. They always curse back to me, tell me I'm a loser, I'm a this, I'm a that. You just listened.'
"I listen, listen and listen some more because they've never had people listen to them. You listen to them and their lives are changed."
Keith delivered the eulogy at the November 2005 funeral of Amon Beckles. The 18-year-old was gunned down outside Toronto West Seventh Day Adventist Church while attending his closest friend, Jamal Hemmings' funeral. Killed reportedly because he knew too much. He'd been with Hemmings when he was slain.
Since, the mother of four has supported the families of more than a dozen murdered young men.
"Life means nothing" to some, Keith said. "They have a mom and a dad, a family, God to answer to. They don't think about that. 'I do it my way. I don't care. They must respect me,' they say. That's why you see so many youth dead."
Keith's counselling has now expanded to include families referred by lawyers.
"I love it," Keith said of her work. "I've seen lives change. They realize 'I've messed up. I've slipped up. I've had a spiral downfall.' They need somebody in their life to tell them they're down. 'Let me help you to climb back up again.'"