BUT SERIOUSLY: Take a week off from making any resolutions

For those of you reading this on the afternoon of Dec. 31, you have a little less than 12 hours until you begin your New Year's resolution.

You ready? Not quite? Relax. Take a deep breath. Take another. One more for good luck. That better? Great. Best wishes. I'll be rooting for you. Make sure to drop me a line and let me know how it goes.

Now, for those on the other hand who are reading this on the afternoon of Jan. 1, well, what can I say? Alas, it's over. Nice try, though.

I mean it. I'm not just saying that to try and make you feel better. You gave it one heck of a good shot. Don't feel bad. You're in excellent company. There are plenty more out there just like you.

I'll let you in on a little secret: You never had a chance.

There's a simple reason most people don't stick with their new year's resolutions. The timing is all wrong.

That isn't to say the time for a new year's resolution should not be the new year. They wouldn't be new year's resolutions. I meant the popular choices people pick are all doomed for failure because said resolutions are ill-suited for Jan. 1.

Take the top four: quitting smoking, giving up drinking, losing weight and getting in shape. Now I ask you, who can stick with any of those on Jan. 1?

One, every smoker I know lights up at the stroke of midnight on Dec. 31 to ring in the new year. They tell me it's their favourite cigarette of the year. Then they have another one right away. Then they have their third. They don't even stop to sing Auld Lang Syne in between drags.

Same goes for drinkers. Like they're going to begin the year without a toast or two or three. What's more, smokers and drinkers tend to be in the company of like-minded folks to kick off the new year, so unless they all agree to change their ways en masse, the premises will end up turning into a resolution-free zone.

Those trying to lose weight have it even tougher. The holidays are all about eating. Compounding the situation is that the food at this time of year is as fattening as it gets. So, considering most people have plenty of leftovers in the fridge when the new year begins, calling Jenny on Jan. 1 will have to be put on hold.

And getting in shape? Yeah, right. After enjoying their New Year's Eve celebrations, most people sleep in. When they finally do stagger out of bed, they're in no shape think about anything, let alone getting in shape.

Nope, Jan. 1 is definitely no time to be making resolutions.

Now a week into the new year? That has serious potential. On the one hand, it gives you an additional week each year to come up with an appropriate resolution. And, even more importantly, buys you that extra seven days to come up with the de rigueur lame airtight excuse when you fail miserably, yet again.