Back to School

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• Be patient, organized for the first day of school

While stress and anxiety is often associated with adults, kids, too, can have stress, especially during back-to-school time.

For many kids, back to school is exciting; they get new clothes and meet new teachers and friends. But for others, the excitement is replaced by anxiety and stress.

There are several factors that contribute to back-to-school stress, said Dr. Ester Cole, a child, family and youth psychologist who is also on the board of trustees for the Psychology Foundation of Canada based in midtown Toronto.

First, parents need to consider the personality of the child as some are more prone to be worriers or more anxious than others, Cole said, while others are more happy-go-lucky and roll with things that come up.

"Some (children) are more stress-prone and some children also have role models, like a parent at home, who tends to be more cautious and worried so this is also a factor," she said.

Another thing to consider is the summer break is long, Cole said, and kids have been excited about having fun, going on holidays and their worry-free lifestyle.

"So the idea of going back to school is not as comfortable because they had this lengthy break period of activities, less structure, less performance that is academic-based and they are worried about the transition from one phase to another," Cole said.

Cole said some kids may also harbour some residual feelings from things that occurred the year before, such as being bullied, a bad experience with teachers, social problems or with the workload.

"They may have struggled at the end of the year academically or they are perfectionist children who don't struggle but are putting the stress on themselves to be perfect and they worry when it's not," Cole said.

So parents have to determine what exactly their children's stress and apprehensions are about. Then it takes communication to pinpoint the problems and deal with them.

But Cole said parents shouldn't just delve into the bad memories but should instead concentrate on discussing strategies to avoid problems in the coming school year.

"You don't want to have too much a review of the past because it can reactivate a lot of bad memories," she said. "If it's a child whose had a particular problem, you may want to see if the child can meet the new teacher to address serious concerns."

Cole said kids tend to be more stressed today than in the past because their lifestyles are go, go, go.

"There are so many children who are involved in so many activities they are asked to compete, they are constantly receiving evaluations and the pace of their lives are faster, and some children need more down time than others," Cole said.

She added as these children have so little time to unwind during the school year, and after a slower pace in the summer, the prospect of school and going back to a hectic schedule can create stress.

"Going back to school with all the extras that are going to happen, it's like moving from smelling the roses to a fast-paced assembly line," she said.

Cole said some parents don't realize their kids are feeling this type of stress. Often times, kids show signs of stress through behaviours such as acting distracted, complaining of feeling physically unwell and having disruptive sleep. Kids may also ask the same question a number of times. Sometimes, kids just don't know how to express what they are feeling.

However, there are things parents can do to help prepare their kids for back to school. Cole said parents need to be organized beginning at least the week before school starts so Sept. 2 isn't chaotic. Cole suggested introducing structure, like bedtimes, back into the routine.

"The issue is how do we help them with the transition. ... If you feel as a parent that your child is one of those who needs more time to prepare for changes, then the time has to be taken into account to help them to feel comfortable and ready," she said.

Just don't leave everything to the last minute because it's too much of a dramatic shift from the fun summer lifestyle to the structured school one the night before, she said.

"There could be a two-week period where gradually you go with the child to buy various things, but if you have a child who is very anxious by nature then it might be a good idea to go and visit the grounds of the school a few days before it starts," she said.

This way, the child is a bit more familiar with the route they'll be walking if they are going to walk to school; or if they're going to a new school, show them the playground and their classroom so they feel more familiarity before the hustle and bustle.

"You may want to drive around more than once and if they're walking, do a rehearsal of the route, if they're going to be in the car pool, meet the other children who will also be in the car pool," she said.

Cole said it's all about slowly acclimatizing children to their new lives with reassurance and addressing any anxieties they may have so they can feel at ease about returning to school.