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It happens every year at this time.

With summer just around the corner and more revealing attire in the offing, after a winter of being bundled up in bulky clothing, people come face to face with their bodies again and automatically become self-conscious about their weight.

That's when the clubs pounce with their "Time to get back in shape" campaigns.

Having discovered yoga about 10 years ago, it's been awhile since I've been in a club or a weight room, but I still try and keep abreast of what's going on in that scene. So on Sunday I decided to take advantage of one of the free offers given to me and check out what is going on.

It turns out that personal trainers are all the rage these days. They set you up with a program designed especially for you and accompany you during your workout, charting every grunt and groan along the way.

Working out with a personal trainer is a breeze. They do all the thinking for you. You just do what you're told.

But a word of warning, before you sign up: They've got a jargon all their own. You had best bone up or you won't know what they heck they're talking about!

PERSONAL TRAINER: "First of all, Jamie, we're gonna work on your abs today. Everything you do stems from the abs."

JAMIE: "Abs, eh? OK. Any tips?"

PERSONAL TRAINER: "Uh, huh. Sets and reps."

JAMIE: "Sets and reps build abs?"

PERSONAL TRAINER: "Yup. And super sets and super reps build super abs."

JAMIE: "And how does one know when to move on from sets and reps to super sets and super reps?"

PERSONAL TRAINER: "By keeping tabs."

JAMIE: "So you keep tabs of your sets and reps and then you take a stab at super sets and super reps when your abs are fab?"

PERSONAL TRAINER: "That's what we learned in the lab."

JAMIE: "And when fab abs turn to glam abs?"

PERSONAL TRAINER: "It's on to your quads and your hams."

JAMIE: "I see. And after quads and hams pass their exams?"

PERSONAL TRAINER: "The focus shifts to your calfs."

JAMIE: "And when my calfs are pleasing to the eyes. "

PERSONAL TRAINER: "We move to your bis and your tris."

JAMIE: "And when your bis and your tris pass all of your checks?"

PERSONAL TRAINER: "Then finally it's on to your lats, delts and pecs."

JAMIE: "And after all that I'll finally be ready to flex?"

PERSONAL TRAINER: "Bingo. So whaddya say? You game?"

JAMIE: "It sounds like a plan. I'll catch you next week."

PERSONAL TRAINER: "Hey. Where are you going? I thought we'd get going on it right away."

JAMIE: "Now? You nuts? All this talk about exercising my abs and quads and calfs and bis and tris and lats and delts and pecs has me completely worn out. Before I even think about lifting even so much as a finger I've gotta do something first."

PERSONAL TRAINER: "And what's that, pray tell?"

JAMIE: "I gotta go work on my naps."